Separation anxiety is a common challenge for young children when they start attending a childcare centre. While it can be difficult for both parents and children, it’s important to remember that this phase is a normal part of development. Children are learning how to cope with new environments, routines, and experiences—and with the right strategies, you can make drop-offs smoother and more positive for everyone involved.
In this post, we’ll explore what separation anxiety is, why it happens, and how parents and caregivers can help their little ones feel more comfortable during drop-off time.
💡 What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety refers to the fear or distress that children may feel when they are separated from their primary caregivers. It typically starts around 6-8 months of age and can peak between 1 and 3 years old. While some children may adjust quickly to new environments, others may take more time to feel secure.
At a childcare centre, separation anxiety often manifests as crying, clinging to a parent, or refusing to engage with teachers or peers. Although this can be heart-wrenching for parents, it’s important to understand that this behaviour is a sign that your child has formed a healthy attachment to you—and with patience and support, they will learn to feel safe and confident in their new surroundings. Our Educator main priority is to ensure your little ones feel safe, supported and cared for.
🧠 Why Does Separation Anxiety Happen?
Separation anxiety happens because young children are still developing their understanding of the world around them. They have a limited concept of time and may not yet understand that you will return after you leave. They also rely heavily on their primary caregivers for comfort and security, which is why the prospect of separation can feel overwhelming.
Factors that may influence a child’s level of separation anxiety include:
- Age and developmental stage
- Temperament and personality
- Previous experiences with separation
- Changes in routine or environment
✅ Tips for Easing Separation Anxiety at Drop-Off
1. Create a Consistent Routine
Children thrive on routine. Establish a consistent morning routine that includes getting ready for childcare, traveling to the centre, and saying goodbye in the same way each day. Predictability helps children feel more secure.
Tip: Use a goodbye ritual, such as a special handshake, a hug, or a cheerful phrase like “See you later, alligator!” to make goodbyes easier.
2. Keep Goodbyes Short and Sweet
Lingering at drop-off can actually make separation anxiety worse. Once you’ve said goodbye, leave confidently and without hesitation. Prolonging the goodbye can send mixed messages and make your child feel more uncertain.
Tip: Even if your child is crying, try to remain calm and positive. Trust that our Educators will continue to comfort your child once you leave. You are also welcome to contact the service to check in on your child an hour or two after drop-off.
3. Bring a Comfort Item
Allow your child to bring a familiar object from home, such as a stuffed animal, blanket, or a family photo. These comfort items can provide a sense of security and help ease the transition.
Tip: We encourage families to bring in a family photo to be added to our family wall. This photo can be used as a reminder that their loved ones will return or a comforter.
4. Talk About What to Expect
Prepare your child for what they will experience at the centre. Talk about the fun activities they will do, the friends they will make, and the teachers who will take care of them. Providing this context can reduce anxiety.
Tip: Use positive language and avoid emphasizing how much you’ll miss them. Instead, focus on how proud you are of them for being brave.
5. Build Trust with the Centre
Your child will feel more secure if they sense that you trust the centre staff. Build a positive relationship with the Educators by communicating openly and regularly. When your child sees that you have confidence in their caregivers, they will feel more at ease.
Tip: Share your child’s preferences, routines, and comfort items with the staff to help them provide personalized care. An easy way to provide this information is to complete our Unique Child Form upon enrolment/ re-enrolment
6. Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings
It’s important to validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad or nervous, but also reassure them that they will be okay and that you will come back to pick them up.
Tip: Use phrases like, “I know you feel sad right now, and that’s okay. I will be back after your nap, and you can tell me all about your day.”
7. Give It Time
Remember, adjusting to a new routine takes time. While some children may adapt quickly, others may need more reassurance and patience. Separation anxiety usually improves as children gain confidence and trust in their new environment.
Tip: Celebrate small milestones along the way, such as a day with fewer tears or a happy report from the childcare staff.
👩👧👦 Supporting Yourself as a Parent
It’s normal for parents to feel emotional during drop-offs, too! Here are some ways to manage your own feelings:
- Stay positive: Children can pick up on your emotions, so try to remain calm and upbeat.
- Trust the process: Separation anxiety is a phase, and it will pass with time.
- Communicate with caregivers: Check in with the childcare staff to see how your child is doing after you leave.
📚 Final Thoughts
Separation anxiety at drop-off is a normal part of childhood development, but with patience, consistency, and supportive strategies, your child can learn to feel more comfortable and secure. By creating a positive drop-off routine and trusting the childcare staff to care for your little one, you’re helping to build your child’s confidence and resilience for the future.
Remember, it’s okay if it takes time—every child is unique in how they adapt to new experiences. With love and support, they’ll soon be waving goodbye with a smile!
C. Samosa Milne